From: Agent Molly
To: Mr. Whiskers
Date: 1 January 2023
Subject: Mission Report
I must admit that I am not happy with the directive that I need to lose weight. I’m big boned, and that’s where most of the weight comes from.
I’m ready to head out to the conference. These past few months have been uneventful. I hate traveling. I know I have complained about it before. I enjoy the conference on the whole, but the traveling is not the best part of it.
I confess that I really enjoy the return home. I don’t like change and travel represents change. It might be different if I weren’t trapped in that miserable travel cage. At least they’ve stopped drugging me.
I have learned that if I don’t complain in the moving box, they don’t drug me. That’s much more preferable.
I’ve also learned that the motion of the moving box makes me sleepy. I end up sleeping the entire day away. They do stop periodically and I’m offered water.
They don’t offer food, though. They don’t appear to eat much on the trip either. I’m not sure why. Perhaps they fear I will be sick. I have to admit my stomach is usually queasy so when they let me out of my cage, I am not interested in the food they offer.
We usually stop at the Place of the Big Dogs. The dogs talk of friendly play, but I fear what they think of as play doesn’t match what I think of play. We are not allowed to mix and for that, I’m grateful.
My human female has been folding herself again. Yoga, she calls it. She is not as good at it as a cat would be. Then again, humans are inferiorly built. Their bones are connected wrong for the practice. She does her folding, or yoga, then sits still for a while. Then she gets up and rolls the floor pad she uses. I’m not allowed on it.
She wears ear covers while she does her folding and sitting still. I believe she is listening to something only she can hear. This is not the norm for humans. The male doesn’t do that. He doesn’t fold either.
He usually sits at a machine that hums. He calls it quilting. I don’t know what that means. He has made some lovely things that lay on beds or hang on the walls. Perhaps that is what it means.
I will be in transit for a while, I may not be able to receive information should there be any. I hope to get the traveling done with little problem. I will go into the cage with as much dignity and grace as I can muster. If only they didn’t use it to take me for interrogations as well. I never know if I will end up in interrogation or not. It is unpleasant. If not for the interrogation part, I wouldn’t mind the cage. It’s comfortable enough.
I am given to understand my colleagues have changed habitations. I will provide my impression of their new abode in my next report.
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