From: | Agent Snickers | To: | Mr. Whiskers | Date: | 5 April 2015 |
Subject: | Mission Report |
I must point out that Agent Cuddlebug retired at just the right time. He seems to have a problem with ice. He is addicted to it. I do not understand it, myself. Ice is cold. He can’t get enough of it. He keeps pestering the humans for ice. I do not see the reasoning for that, myself. This is not good. He appears to have lost all semblance of pride. I feel he must undergo treatment for this issue. The others think this situation is amusing. Personally, I’m appalled. The constant groveling for ice is repulsive. His behavior is becoming disgusting. I am not sure if this is something we should be concerned about, could you please send information on curing addictions. I think we should work with Agent Cuddlebug to cure his addiction.
Other than that, things have been quiet around here. The humans are always underfoot. The younger female complains of pain in her back. She walks with a cane and we need to avoid her when she walks around this habitat. She laughs at Agent Cuddlebug when he begs for ice. His behavior is disgusting. We need to get him help. I would not normally care, but I think he needs help. Please advise how we can help him to kick his ice addiction.
From: | Agent Storm | To: | Mr. Whiskers | Date: | 5 April 2015 |
Subject: | Mission Report |
Agent Cuddlebug’s ice addiction is not something we need to be concerned about. In fact, I do not think he is addicted at all. I have eaten ice once or twice myself and I believe it is only very cold water that has become solid. I do not think there is anything else to be done. He will be fine. I think he is just in need of water. It is warm here and I believe that it is the same as the warm time in our old place.
While it seems to be quiet here right now, I believe that there are issues going on. We have the canines who insist on going outside. I wonder what they find so intriguing out there. I see birds that I do not believe existed in the area around our old location. The trees are also strange. We still see the weird, scaly creatures, on occasion. They don’t come around here as much anymore. I think the canines have scared them away.
If you believe that we need to do something about Agent Cuddlebug, please advise. Once again, I do not believe that Agent Cuddlebug has a problem. I think he is merely thirsty and ice is just water that is so cold that it is hard. I will abide by whatever you say in the matter of Agent Cuddlebug and his alleged addiction. I will also agree with Agent Snickers that the way he carries on in order to get ice is disgusting. Please advise us as to what you think we should do or not due. The loss of pride is alarming.
Michigan Humane Society: Somebody here needs you.
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