From: Mr. Whiskers To: Teams W-1 and W-2
Date: 5 March 2011
Subject: Human Absence and Returns To and From Your Location
I have not received your report on the movements of your humans. Please submit your reports as soon as possible. It is vital that we understand their habits. Director Shadow would like those reports on his desk within a week. You have twenty-four hours to submit your reports.
From: Agent Cuddlebug To: Mr. Whiskers at HQ
Date: 6 March 2011
Subject: Human Absence and Returns To and From Your Location
There is no need to get snarky. We have issues here that you don’t understand. Only one of our humans leaves on a regular basis. The younger female leaves every morning and returns in the evenings. She gets into her box on wheels and somehow manages to make it move. It is accompanied by a noise but we have not been able to discover a way to get to it to see what makes the noise or how it moves. We do not know where she goes. As for the male, he goes out sometimes and stays away hours. He has a larger mystery box that moves, again we are unable to determine where he goes. The third human the older female remains in this place for the most part. She mostly locks herself in a single room. She calls it work, but the younger female refers to her daily trek as going to work. We are confused and we are attempting to learn more about this work. With the elder female always here, our ability to use the computer for research is limited.
From: Agent Snickers To: Mr. Whiskers at HQ
Date: 6 March 2011
Subject: Human Absence and Returns To and From Your Location
She calls it an office, which Agent Cuddlebug would know if he opened his ears more. I peer through the window of the door. She spends a lot of time at the computer. She mostly sits and types although I have seen her simply sitting there, staring at the screen. I can’t see what she is doing, but she does call it work. I shall endeavor to get inside and hide the next time she closes herself in there to learn more about what she is doing.
From: Agent Storm To: Mr. Whiskers at HQ
Date: 6 March 2011
Subject: Human Absence and Returns To and From Your Location
The younger female also spends time on the computer doing what she calls work. She sometimes comes home from work and gets on the computer and works. She moves the thing on the screen that we can never catch. And things move on the screen. I see what she is doing and it seems to involve calendars and letters that come to her screen. I will continue to monitor her ‘work’ from the back of the sofa, if Agent Mulder doesn’t keep interfering.
From: Agent Mulder To: Mr. Whiskers at HQ
Date: 6 March 2011
Subject: Human Absence and Returns To and From Your Location
I don’t interfere. I’m trying to do my job, just like Agent Storm. He is annoying in that he takes the best observation posts and won’t share. Do we really need him here? It was nice when he was posted elsewhere for that year.
Anyway, I have spoken with Agent Crusher and he stated that he would try to get some intelligence on the moving boxes. He said that the younger female always goes the same way when she leaves in the morning. I believe that she goes to the same place every day.
From: Agent Luna To: Mr. Whiskers at HQ
Date: 6 March 2011
Subject: Human Absence and Returns To and From Your Location
I knew that she went the same way; Agent Mulder didn’t have to bother Agent Crusher with that request. I can also see that the male goes that way as well. I don’t think they go to the same place, though, I believe there are only a few paths around this place. Agent Crusher would be the best one to ask about that, I agree. I stay at my post all day except for meals and the odd trip to the litter box. No one is more vigilant than I am.
From: Agent Smudge To: Mr. Whiskers at HQ
Date: 6 March 2011
Subject: Human Absence and Returns To and From Your Location
Agent Luna spends a great deal of time at the food or on trips to the litter box, however I don’t think she has missed anything. What the humans do when they are away from this place must remain a mystery. I don’t see how we can discover what happens when there is no feline to make a report. I do not know what else we can do.
From: Agent Crusher To: Mr. Whiskers at HQ
Date: 6 March 2011
Subject: Human Absence and Returns To and From Your Location
Agent Luna is quite correct in that there are only a few places where humans can take their boxes, which I have learned they call cars. They miss all the smaller areas that will lead them to the same places in less time, but I have noticed that humans like to do things in a very complicated way. I think they thrive on the complex. I have tried to follow the younger female, but her car goes too fast. I believe, as Agent Smudge does, that it is pointless to try to discover more about this work that humans visit.
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