To: Mr. Whiskers
Date: 6 June, 2021
Subject: Mission Report June 2021
Whiskey has proven to be difficult to work with. He never strays far from the younger female. I would say they were attached in some physical way, but I have seen no sign of such a restraint. I can only assume some type of mind control. Perhaps I should cultivate the one called Cooper. I will try Whiskey a little longer, but I am afraid he is under a kind of mental regulation. I will study him before I approach again. In the meantime, I will also attempt to determine whether my second choice would be amenable to the idea. I cannot be certain he will, given my failure with Whiskey.
In case anyone forgot, Whisky is the middle sized dog of the three smaller tail-waggers. He is brown with a smooth coat and enormous ears and eyes. I believe the humans say he is a Chihuahua. I do not understand exactly what that means. Cooper has straight brick red fur. Our captors call him a dachshund. Again, I can’t say why. The smallest of them is Little Bit. He is also the oldest. He acts like he is mentally not all there.
Now, back to Cooper, he does like to bark, and he does it a lot. Mostly he’s trying to alert our jailers to something outside the habitat, as though we were under some sort of attack. I never spotted the danger, myself. Still, he may turn out to be a solid ally, if I can convince him. So far, he stares at me when I try. I believe he is not acquainted with the feline language. I did try to speak with him using the canine speech, but I fear he did not understand me. Beyond telling me I had a terrible accent; he did not appear interested in conversation. I will keep trying though as I think this could be a crucial step. I am convinced my idea of forging such an alliance would be beneficial for both cats and dogs.
I would like to lodge a complaint. I think Agent Skittlebutt was out of line when he said I was a fool. I am not an idiot. I resent him saying so. Perhaps my plan to make a cooperative venture with our fellow captives will not work, but that does not mean I am dumb for trying. I would only be stupid if I did not try. He doesn’t come up with any ideas to further our cause. He just works out and flirts with Agent Zoe. Now, I do my share of flirting. That is not the point. It is the fact he called me a dummy and I do not appreciate it. I am only asking he be told to respect me as an agent. I do not need him to like me. I only want him to be courteous to me. I think that is the least he can do.
If you do not think my scheme has merit, please let so advise me and I will cease my attempts to establish one with Cooper.
An addendum to this report the humans took Whiskey away. I do not know what happened to him, but we have not seen him since. I fear the worst as the humans seemed upset. He did seem ill
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