From: Agent Zoe
To: Mr. Whiskers
Date: 5 April, 2020
Subject: Mission Report
Agent Zoe reporting for duty. It was touch and go getting here. The younger female waffled. Then the male came and looked at me. They finally took me with them. Agent Probie and Agent Skittlebutt have not been as welcoming as I would have hoped. I spend a lot of time on the observation post. There is a lot going on outside of this place. Trees move for no apparent reason. The lizards try to come in, but we repel them.
The canines in this place are a bit intimidating. The big one, especially, but she seems more goofy than dangerous. The smaller ones don’t move as fast as they should. They are fat and lazy. They wear clothes! Like humans! How silly. They also use the floor as a litter box although it’s my understanding they are supposed to go outside to do that. They aren’t allowed near our litter box.
I have tried to learn the routines of this place, but get no help from either of my fellow agents. So I watched and learned on my own. I think I fit in. I have worked hard to ingratiate myself with the humans and believe I have been quite successful. I only wish I’d been as successful at incorporating myself into the feline team here.
It’s not much of a team, I must say. They do their jobs competently. I’m sure I could learn a lot from both of them, but they will not share their knowledge. I realize they can’t share their experience as easily, but they could be better teachers. I don’t mean to criticize them, but they could be more helpful. That’s all I will say on the subject. At least we don’t indulge in physical fights. We are all much too civilized for that.
I get the impression the older female doesn’t like me. She was clearly not happy when I arrived. She seems to be resigned to my presence, but I do have the feeling she would rather I wasn’t here. That’s not to say she fears me. She doesn’t give that impression, but I believe she would rather I were not here. I don’t know why. I don’t let her attitude bother me. I just do my duty and leave her alone. She does seem concerned when I walk along the window sill. Perhaps she is trying to observe the outside as well. I entertained the theory that she was a prisoner here as we felines are, but she leaves on occasion. I don’t know why she stays in when she clearly would like to go out. It makes no sense to me. So I will observe her and try to understand why she doesn’t go out more.
Still, I’m here to learn about the humans and what they plan to do to feline-kind. I will do my best to find out just what they have planned. So I will observe the outside and the humans in this place to the best of my ability.
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