From: | Agent Cuddlebug | To: | Mr. Whiskers | Date: | 3 July 2014 |
Subject: | Mission Report |
Agent Probie continues his experiments with the strange creatures. He pulls off their tails, which seem to come off very easily. Then he lets the creatures escape. I do not know what he hopes to accomplish with this activity, but it upsets the humans to find the tails. Why not eat the tails? The humans get upset and that makes them edgy. We do not want edgy humans. I have tried to talk with Agent Probie about this, but he is so defensive as if he feels we are criticizing. I am not criticizing him.
He may believe that I am mocking his hunting prowess, but I am not. I am simply trying to understand why he doesn’t just kill the creature or eat the tails. Do they taste bad? he won’t talk to me. All I really am looking for here, is information. I would like to know his conclusions. If he needs help with this project, all he has to do is ask. I will do what I can to help.
From: | Agent Mulder | To: | Mr. Whiskers | Date: | 3 July 2014 |
Subject: | Mission Report |
The humans have been going out during the day. When they return, they smell of salt and dead fish. I have no idea where they go to get that odor, but I wish they would at least bring us the fish. We are tired of the boring food in this place. Perhaps that is why Agent Probie is going after the strange creatures that are invading this place. That and the fact that they present a great challenge, even if they do shed their tails. I suspect that their tails are not really attached to them and that somehow they can detach them. I do not think it would be good for felinekind to be able to shed our tails. It would be good to be able to grow them back, but I think shedding tails would probably hurt. Agent Probie’s zeal in chasing them in this weather is slightly dangerous, I believe. He should give it a rest for a while. The humans don’t like find the tails, besides he could overheat in the chase.
Michigan Humane Society: Somebody here needs you.
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