The story so far: Simon Mills went walking in the woods and saw Bigfoot. Talking about it got him fired from his job in a law firm, so Simon decided to go out to the woods to get proof — and the story continues:
The Zoo pt. 2
So anyway, I was out there in the woods. With my camera. OK, it was just my cell phone, but there’s a camera in it. The point is I was out there. In the woods. Alone. A pack of dogs came rushing at me. OK so it was only three dogs. One was goofy looking. One kinda looked friendly but the leader of the pack, if three dogs makes a pack, was mean. He looked like he really wanted a piece of me.
It may seem like cowardice to you, but I considered it self-preservation. That is, I ran until I reached a tree and climbed it as fast as I could. I don’t think I was ever faster at climbing a tree even when I was a kid. Anyway, there I was, treed like a cat. The dogs. OK, it was one dog, but I swear it had three heads. I was not drinking.
So there I was, treed, like I said, with a three headed dog barking around the base of my refuge when two guys come up. One of them had a loop on a poll and he put it around the middle head’s muzzle. The other looked up the tree at me.
“Crap!” he said. I don’t often engender that kind of reaction when people see me. I mean I’m no Greek god or anything but I’m not hard on the eyes, even if I do say so myself.
“Come on Cerberus,” said the other one. “Austin give me a hand. He’s feisty today.”
“We are not alone,” said the one called Austin. “There’s someone in the tree, Frank,” frank looked up at me.
“You can come down,” the one called Frank said. “I’ve got him under control. I’m Frank Finster and this is Austin Carmichael.”
“Simon Mills,” I said. “That dog has three heads.”
“Yes, well,” Austin said. “Um, don’t worry about him. He’s under control. The middle one is the only one you have to watch out for.”
“Speaking of that, Austin,” Frank said. “Help me get this muzzle on him.” I watched Austin try to help get the muzzle on the middle head of the dog. I reached out and began scratching the friendly head behind the ears. “Thanks,” Frank truly sounded grateful. “That helps.”
“Where did you get a three headed dog?” I asked.
“Hades,” said Austin. “He’s the former guardian. He lost his job when Hades shut down.”
“Hades got shut down?” I rubbed my own head. I was sure that I hadn’t hit it. I’d climbed out of the tree. I hadn’t fallen on my head.
“Sure,” said Austin. “When they opened Hell.” He looked pensive. “I have to admit that Hades was a nicer sort of place.”
“It had its bad sections,” Frank said. “We’d better get Cerberus back to the zoo. Thanks for your help Simon.”
“No problem,” I said. “Umm, the zoo? There’s no zoo around here. The closest zoo is twenty miles away.”
“Right,” said Frank.
“Our zoo is pretty much wherever,” Austin said. “It’s in Unreality.”
“It was nice meeting you,” Frank said. He sounded as though he wanted Austin to shut up. “We have to go. Come on Austin.” He headed deeper into the woods hauling Cerberus on a leash. Austin trailed behind. I couldn’t help myself. I followed them as well. The mention of a zoo here intrigued me. I hadn’t realized there was a zoo in the woods. In fact, I was certain that there wasn’t.
We walked for about ten, maybe fifteen minutes and, damned if there wasn’t a zoo right there in the woods. It had big iron gates with Mythic Zoo in curly letters across the arch of the gate. I’d never seen it before. Frank and Austin hauled Cerberus through the gate and then the whole gate vanished. The zoo was gone. I swear I was not drinking.
It was getting dark by the time I gave up trying to find the gate again. I left the woods too freaked out to think straight. By the next morning I’d convinced myself that I’d fallen asleep in the woods and dreamed it. It could happen. People sleep in the woods all the time.
To Be Continued:
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