The day started out just like any other day. I got up and went to work, same as any other day. The only difference was that I’d been feeling a little fatigued lately and figured I was getting overweight. OK, my scale told me that I was overweight. The point is, I was a little overweight, ten, thirty pounds, tops.
So anyway, I decided to do something about it. My weight, I mean. I decided to go for a walk at lunch. Of course, I did eat my lunch before I went out for my walk, but I did go out for a walk all the same. That’s good, isn’t it? I think it’s important to watch your weight. The younger you are, the better it is to keep track of your weight.
My name is Simon Mills. I live in Forestville, a small town that borders on some nice woods. The woods are part of a municipal park, which is why they still exist. Other than the woods, there weren’t too many trees left in Forestvillle. A pity, really, I like trees. Anyway, it wasn’t only my weight that got me out of the office. It was Miss Stevens. She was the office manager. She was also my immediate boss and she hated me. I don’t know why, but she really hated me. Going out for a walk was a good way to keep from telling her off. As much as I would love to do that, I needed the job. She was driving me crazy by constantly finding fault with everything I did. I honestly don’t know why she had it in for me.
We both work for the law firm of Grebes and Horowitz in the small town of Forestville. Anyway, Miss Stevens had been riding me all morning. She was the office manager and I was just a lowly clerk. I wasn’t even a law clerk, just a filing clerk, she had no call to, but I’m boring you.
I was out in the woods walking briskly along the path. Some folks would say that I was trying to outrun my thoughts, and they could be right. Anyway, so I was alone in the woods, because no one wanted to come with me. OK, so I was feeling very sorry for myself. I slowed down for a while. I was panting. I really did need to get back in shape. Anyway, that’s when I smelled something pungent and unpleasant. I looked around and there it was, a large hairy ape like creature glaring at me with dark red rimmed eyes. It started towards me and I confess that I turned my nice amble in the park into a nice tryout for a marathon. I didn’t stop running until I hit the sidewalk by the law offices. I don’t know why I was running. The thing walked towards me, not charged towards me. When I got to civilization, all of maybe a thousand feet from where I started running, the creature was nowhere to be seen.
I lost no time telling my coworkers what I had seen, which only goes to show how stupid I was. They didn’t believe me. I should have expected that. This isn’t your typical Bigfoot area. I mean, we don’t get a lot of Bigfoot hunters here. We get like zero Bigfoot hunters. Actually, we don’t get any kind of hunters here.
Miss Stephens overheard them riding me about seeing Bigfoot. She said I was out there drinking. That was the result of my mistake in telling my colleagues that I’d seen Bigfoot in the woods. She overheard, as I said, and she said I must have been drinking. I wasn’t. I don’t drink. Well, I don’t drink much. OK, I drink a few beers ever now and then. Even Mr. Horowitz has been known to toss back a couple of cold ones. It’s not a crime after all. I mean, prohibition was repealed some time ago.
Anyway, the thing is, Miss Stephens got me fired. To this day, I can’t be sure how she did it or even why. Except that she hated me. Most people like me but not her. She hated me. I’d liked that job too. That’s why I went back to the woods with a camera. I was hoping to get a picture of Bigfoot. I know, me and a few million other people who’d seen Bigfoot and wanted proof were out in various parts of the country with cameras. We were hoping to get lucky. Not that kind of lucky, get your mind out of the gutter. I just wanted to get a picture of the creature to prove I wasn’t crazy. Or drunk.
To Be Continued: