|From:||Agent Cuddlebug||To:||Mr. Whiskers||Date:||1 June 2014|
|Subject:||June Mission Report|
I was taking a report from Alistair. He was taking his time about it and I was worried that I was going to get caught by the humans in this place. He should be taught to make his reports in as concise a manner as possible. instead he presents his reports in such a convoluted manner as to make them almost uneditable. I edit pages of the report before I have it in a coherent state to send. Anyway, he made some remarks that I took exception to. I told him off. he escalated his insults until I got angry and broke through the stiff stuff covering the opening. I was out of the habitation. I was so angry that I started fighting with Alistair. While I regret the physical violence, I think he will think twice about who he insults in the future.
I collected my wits when the humans gathered me up and returned me to the habitation. I was chagrined to realize that Alistair had marked me with his claws. Who did he think he was? I’ve a good mind to… never mind. The humans took me for interrogation. I must admit that the interrogation didn’t go as I had expected. I was poked with a sharp claw and they cut the hair on my leg where Alistair had got in a good deep scratch. It hurt, at first but after they clawed me, it didn’t hurt as much. I’m not sure how that happened. They cut the hair away down to my skin, then they daubed some stuff on it. I was feeling sleepy then. I think they were trying to heal the injury. Is this possible? no one asked me a single question, beyond asking why I was fighting. Has anyone else reported anything like this?
|From:||Agent Snickers||To:||Mr. Whiskers||Date:||1 June 2014|
|Subject:||June Mission Report|
Agent Cuddlebug got his can kicked. Alistair really pinned Cuddlebug’s ears to the ground. I had no idea that Agent Cuddlebug was that sensitive about his Tom-hood. It’s always been my understanding that the humans had broken it, not that we discuss such delicate matters. We don’t really discuss anything at all. Agent Cuddlebug is elderly and perhaps Alistair shouldn’t have made some of those remarks. However, Agent Cuddlebug deserves to be reprimanded as much as Agent Alistair. After all, as he keeps reminding us, he is the most senior agent in this location. He should know better than to brawl like that. Agent Alistair should know better than to bait his superiors as well, in the interest of fairness, both agents should receive some sort of reprimand. The fight was unnecessary and brought scrutiny to us all. We don’t dare make any contact with outside agents now. the stiff stuff over the door in the back is closed to us now. we will have to try to make connection with our agents outside in more public areas and that is dangerous. if we are careful about it, though, the humans will repair that stiff stuff and let us resume our usual practice of taking reports through the stiff stuff to pass on to headquarters. In the meantime, Agent Cuddlebug continues to languish and milk his scratch, the lazy layabout.
Michigan Humane Society: Somebody here needs you.