From: Agent Mulder
To: Mr. Whiskers at HQ
Date: 5 August 2012
Subject: The Younger Canine
The older humans are discussing things loudly again. the younger female just stays out of things. They are annoyed with the younger canine and each other. I believe because the silly thing eliminates in this place. They don’t pay enough attention to him, so what else can the poor thing do? He spends his days locked up because they don’t want to watch him all the time. I don’t think it would take long before the canine caught on. While they aren’t as smart and wise as we felines are, they are not as stupid as humans think. I think they need to confine the canines to areas where they are sitting so that they can watch him for signs that he needs to go outside. That’s the best method of training him.
That said, I have a few other words about the older canine. He still harasses us felines and we are sick of it. It was tolerable when he was younger, now he is just plain annoying. I’d swat him if I thought it would do any good. The problem with swatting him is that the humans would probably just protect him and put me in confinement. I do not understand why they tolerate him so. I also do not understand why they got another one. We didn’t even need the first one.
From: Agent Smudge
To: Mr. Whiskers at HQ
Date: 5 August 2012
Subject: Canines and Housebreaking
Agent Mulder is quite correct. They are not training the canine well at all. They need to pay more attention. I remember well my trained in the use of the litter box. My mother did not tolerate ‘accidents’. In some cases, these canines are not having ‘accidents’ they are deliberately soiling the carpets. Even the humans are starting to notice the stench. I wish they would do something about it. It can’t be that hard to train the beasts to go outside for that purpose, as they should. I only wish the humans would do something about the stench. It’s like living in a litter box. I simply cannot believe that it took this long for them to smell it. How can they survive, much less take such a place of dominance with such a poor sense of smell? They should have been eliminated a long time ago. I guess they have other things to compensate, although I don’t think they see or hear very well, either.
Has anyone done any studies on that? How did humans rise to such a position of dominance? I would be happy to assist in any way that I can with such a study. I think it would give us a good insight into how humans operate if we knew how they achieved their dominance of the world. We may even learn how to dominate them, if we applied their methods. I think we should spend the time and energy to learn more about how humans dominate the world so that we can counter them more effectively. Please count me in, should headquarters decide to take up that challenge.
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