October 2010 Monthly Report to the Feline Freedom League

Agent: Trouble

I must say that it is about time that you removed that FCIS agent from our midst. We no longer required his services and he was wasted here much too long. I understand that he is now investigating charges of treason, collusion with a canine? I find that difficult to comprehend.

Once again, strange apparitions arrive at the door of our prison and yell something. It sounded to me like the young humans in the neighborhood. They call out something that sounds like, “Trick or treat.” The female jailer opens the door and pays them food to leave. Sometimes the male gives the payment. I do not understand this behavior. I recall that this happened last year as well. I have been unable to discover more about this as our jailers do not allow us near the door when it is open. I remained at my post in the large litter box room throughout the evening, and did my best to observe the procession of apparitions through the front window of the room. This was not easy as there are bushes and a screening fence in my way. I am certain that they are not real apparitions, but humans dressed in odd clothing. I do not know what this strange yearly demand for food is all about. I do not pretend to know, but I do know that there was no way the jailers were going to allow us to escape through the door when they open it to the oddly clad small humans.

Agent: Pica

Trouble is right; this strange behavior is a yearly event. I don’t understand it either. I maintain my position at the back of the prison, but the activity is always at the front. If I were to go to the front, I’m sure that the activity would likely move to the back. It’s very puzzling. Human kits come to the front door of this prison and others like it up and down the road and beg for food. Humans are odd creatures. Learning about them could take several lifetimes. Even then I don’t think we will even scratch the surface of their oddness.

However, I don’t believe Agent Trouble is correct; no feline would consort with a canine. They are such dirty, slobbery creatures. Wherever Agent Princess is, I hope he comes to no harm, although it is better here without his intrusive inquisitiveness.

Agent Luna

This ritual is very strange. I cannot believe they confined me to the female jailor’s bedroom. I shared my incarceration for the evening in that room with Agents Pica, Storm and Special Agent Princess. Special Agent Princess explained it to me because he witnessed it before. The human kits go out and beg for food. Then they bring it back to the prison, which they regard as a nest, and dump it out so that the adult humans can look it over. Then they put it away for use as treats for the human kits. We will not be getting any of it. Special Agent Princess said it was nasty stuff. I prefer to reserve judgment.

I didn’t really object to Agent Princess. He was charming, but so very young. He hasn’t yet learned to control his youthful enthusiasm. He had better learn soon, or he won’t live to grow old.

Agent Storm

I saw nothing. They summarily locked me in the female jailor’s bedroom with Agents Pica and Luna before anything happened. I kept my ears open, but I couldn’t hear much of what was going on. I had the impression that the people who came to the front door were, in fact, the young of the species, as Agent Trouble has reported. I have never experienced this ritual before. It is not something that I can confidently report on.

AS for Agent Princess, I enjoyed his youthful antics. He could be quite amusing when he chose to. Agent Trouble was always against the poor kit. If he is after a feline traitor, I hope he has a strong tom for backup. He did have his annoying moments, though.