From: Agent Molly
To: Mr. Whiskers
Date: 7 May 2023
Subject: Mission Report
In accordance with the directive from Headquarters, I’m detailing my training process. I have also submitted the final paperwork on the newest recruits I’ve been training. There are a couple of youngsters who want to learn. I’ll start their training as soon as I get the OK from headquarters. I think I have a good class for now. They are an eager bunch. The humans have no idea that I’m training any kittens in the art of spying on them.
I do it at night. The female human is up some nights, but she stays in our sleeping room. I am free to roam wherever I wish in this habitation. So I visit the large open area that gives me a view outside. I gather my class there and provide them with the information they need to learn to become agents. Of course, the weather plays a role on weather class is in section.
I, myself, am not affected by adverse weather. I do care about my students however so I advise my recruits that if the weather is not life-threatening, then class will convene. I have provided them with the criteria for what constitutes life-threatening. Thunderstorms are dangerous. Snow storms are also dangerous. I may refine the list as I progress. I’m keeping a clear record of who my students are and their attendance at class.
The class material follows that which headquarters sent to me in the training package. It consists of navigational aids, finding prime spots to monitor human activity, and detection avoidance. All of which are prime hunting skills. Were you aware that some of these youngster did not receive basic training in hunting? I have begun training my recruits in the basic moves of pouncing. Where were their mothers? What is the feline world coming to when mothers think digging through human refuse is the best course of action to training their kittens to survive?
So I added basic hunting to the curriculum. It’s a shame really. They should already know this. At least they have the rudiments of finding a safe, secure nesting place to spend their off hours or to hole up in during adverse weather. I advise them to ensure that, if they nest near moving water, they create their dens high up as moving water sometimes spreads out. Even humans think that’s bad.
As for my observations, the humans have stuck to their routine. I’m still restricted with regard to food. The female says I’m overweight. I’m not fat. I’m big boned. That’s all. I am fit. I assure you. I was taken for interrogation a couple of times and they got nothing out of me. I believe that is the reason they have restricted my food intake. They hope to starve me into submission.
I don’t feel it necessary to state that they got nothing from me in their interrogation sessions. I am silent when I am with the interrogators. They get nothing from me. I admit I’m awake for the entire session. So I know they get nothing from me.
Michigan Humane Society: Your gift will provide safe shelter, medical care and loving homes for homeless and neglected animals. Please help save more lives in 2018 by giving a generous tax-deductible gift now.
You can symbolically adopt a species at the World Wildlife Fund.
Leave a Reply