FFL -Skittlebutt July 2021
From: Agent Skittlebutt
To: Mr. Whiskers
Date: 4 July 2021
Subject: Mission Report July 2021
Why is Agent Zoe doing this to me? Doesn’t she understand how much I hate the fact she keeps showing me up. Why can’t she leave me be? All I want to do my is my job and rest. To my chagrin, I can’t show her how exhausted I am when she picks on me. Are you sure you can’t do anything? Please, she is wearing me out.
Let me tell you, Agent Probie is no help. The silly tom is spending far too much time with the canines. To be sure, I would suspect him of colluding with them, but he says he’s trying to do something important. What that would be is anyone’s guess. Please be aware I need assistance here. Although she may think differently, Agent Zoe isn’t doing me any favors. Now, I must rest before our jailers think I need to be interrogated. Unfortunately, she is drawing their attention to me, which I don’t need.
At night, I sleep well, I’ll say that for Agent Zoe’s attempts to help me. Now, if only she would see I am not as fast as I was when I had all four legs. Yes, I admit the advantage of speed is hers. If I had all my limbs, I would demonstrate how quick I can be. Right now, it’s all I can do to keep her from running me over half the time. Surely regulations against her behavior exist and if not, they should.
In addition, I will allow she is keeping me on my toes. As I said before, I know she thinks she is helping me, but how do I tell her she’s overdoing it? Seriously, I don’t think I can take much more of this. Well, I’m not a kitten anymore. Believe me, I can do my job. Why can’t she simply permit me to do it on my own? This is rougher than I remember training being.
Hopefully, she doesn’t force the human beings into sending me for interrogation. I don’t think she realizes how close that possibility is. All I can do is hope I can convince them I have nothing wrong with me other than the obvious. Is there nothing you can do to make her see she is setting me up for examination? Even though I tried explaining the situation to her, but I think she believes I’m making excuses. The queen is so arrogant. I didn’t think anyone had more arrogance than Agent Probie, but Agent Zoe beat him.
The worst part is she is so perky. All the humans love her. Even the mutts appear to like her. Even I like her. However, I would like her so much better if she would leave me alone. In the end, I may have to resort to hiding from her which is not something I want to do.
Please advise me on what I can do to reason with her. If she would stop and think a bit, I’m sure she would realize what she’s doing. Well, I would like to think so in any case. As always, tell me of any particular instructions.
Michigan Humane Society: Your gift will provide safe shelter, medical care and loving homes for homeless and neglected animals. Please help save more lives in 2018 by giving a generous tax-deductible gift now.
You can symbolically adopt a species at the World Wildlife Fund.