From: Agent Molly
To: Mr. Whiskers
Date: 6 September 2020
Subject: Mission Report
I must say I am disappointed by the lack of support from headquarters. I needed to find opportunities to research some terms. I believed the terms meant the humans who currently hold me captive were about to move dens. We will be staying in this location for the foreseeable future. We will only move if the human female wins something called a lottery. I have added that term to my list for research, which I must find an opportunity to do. I would have liked for my project to generate work for some, poor, unemployed feline, but that was not to be. Perhaps a student at the academy could assist my research. I believe it would be good practice for the chosen feline.
I have learned a lot in my quest to determine what the terms I heard mean. I have learned that a ‘floor plan’ is not some evil plan against felines. It is a diagram of a habitation such as this one. As for the term “dream house,” it refers to a habitation where the humans would like to live. The humans in this habitation would like to live somewhere else, if they had the money. I confess I’m not clear on what money is. I will look into that, if you feel it is important.
There is still more I believe I can learn about these terms. I do not know why the human female collects the images. I have found a place on her magic box where she stores them. She says they help her with her writing. I do not see how they can do that. They do not move as the images on the larger magic box do. They sit there. I will continue to investigate their significance, but I am not sure they are anything I need to worry about. It’s my belief that they are just items designed to waste my time in researching them. I will continue to do so until I determine that I am wasting my time.
While the humans are not about to abandon me, I’m still kept on short rations. I do not know why they insist on torturing me by withholding food. But should this be a tactic to get information from me, I will not allow them to learn anything about the League and our secrets. No matter if I starve to death, the humans will learn nothing from me. Did I mention how disappointed I have been not to receive even one morsel against the starvation they are foisting on me? I don’t mean to criticize, but I think the excuse that the humans would notice if I didn’t lose weight. I resent the implication that I am obese. I make the statement for the record. I might be a little bit plump, but I am most definitely not fat. I will say no more about my food shortage, due to the snide comments from headquarters. I will only say that if you fail to hear from me, it will be because I have starved to death.
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