From: Agent Molly
To: Mr. Whiskers
Date: 6 January 2019
Subject: First Report of 2019
Over the course of the last several months, I have been endeavoring to find out what the noises are that I hear occasionally outside this habitat. I have seen large moving objects running around on the ground. The noise from these things is alarming. I have seen humans riding on top of them. I believe these things are shortening the grass that grows around this place. Some humans carry small objects on their backs. I have been unable to discover what these objects do. I haven’t seen them lately though, which leads me to believe they are seasonal in nature.
That said, I have heard some smaller sounds that seem to clear the white stuff that falls from the sky from in front of this place. Rest assured that I will continue to make observations to support my theory that humans don’t like the white stuff but pile it out of their way whenever they can. I will continue my observations on the seasonality of these objects and make reports on what I happen to learn.
I work very hard at maintaining a constant vigil in this location. I require nail work every day and I would appreciate an upgrade in my nail post. The one I have now is beginning to wobble and I don’t believe it will hold up much longer. Please advise if the budget will cover a new one. If so, I will send a requisition form to obtain it.
They took me for interrogation last month. I gave up nothing, even though they poked me. The human female has restricted my food intake, which I believe is a result of that interrogation. I am concerned about starvation, but I have no control over my food. She also tried adding some sort of liquid to the food. I refused to eat it with that odd liquid on it. I am not certain how long I will be able to continue making my reports before starvation robs me of strength. I will work on maintaining my strength. If I can.
The human calls the restriction on my food intake, a diet and says I am overweight. She says I weigh 13 pounds. I am not certain what that is.
I did receive word about a conference with Team W. I have since learned of the passing of Agent Smudge. I express my condolences now. I will not do so in person as I do not wish to stir up emotions that should have settled by the time I get to the conference.
I will confess that I am nervous about the trip. I have heard the humans talking about a conference they will attend. I believe this is the annual disappearance. Last year, they imprisoned me. This year, I will attend a conference. I have eavesdropped on their conversations and learned they will be taking me. We are going to stop somewhere they called Georgia. I do not know who she is. They mentioned dogs, which I believe to be the human word for canine. I will be in enemy territory for part of my journey. I will get to the conference and make a report in May.