From: Mulder
To: Mr. Whiskers at HQ
Date: August 5, 2018
Subject:
Mission Report
I am still working on the true purpose of the large canine. She still insists that she is only here to prevent the younger female from falling. I have my suspicions that this cannot be correct. How could she do that? I don’t believe that she can. Perhaps she is delusional. I can only assume that she is delusional. I must admit that the younger female hasn’t fallen as much. Perhaps the canine is doing exactly what she says she is here to do. However, I do not think that is her purpose here. It may be a side effect, but I truly do not believe that the canine is here to keep the younger female from falling over. I do not think I am alone in my suspicions. Other agents here also think she is a spy.
I will work on what this huge canine is actually doing here. I do not think that she is here to do us any physical harm. I think she is here to spy on us. I think she is posing as an assistant to the younger female. I truly believe that she is informing on us to the humans. What else can she be doing? She is constantly with the younger female. I think that she is working against us and we should be careful of what we say and do around her.
The canine is friendly enough, but aloof. I think she is watching us and reporting on our activities. I am considering methods of thwarting her devious plan to keep us from our duties. I think we need to be careful around her until we can figure out a way to counter her threat. She is too large for us to subdue her with threats. She would only laugh at our attempts at intimidation.
I will continue my efforts to find a way to thwart this canine’s spying. She will not be able to inform on our activities to the humans. I was thinking that perhaps we can use her for our own purposes. All we would need to do is provide her with the information that we choose to for her to pass on to the humans. I think that this would be a marvelous opportunity for us to use this canine spy to our own advantage. Please advise if you approve of this plan. I will hold off on any attempt to pass any false information on to the canine.
I think that if headquarters wants proof that this idea is going to work, Melody has a good suggestion. She believes that we could leak some innocuous information and see if the humans act on it. This would be proof of two things, one that the canine is here to spy on us and that my idea of using the canine to spread false information to the humans. Please advise me on what you think of this idea. We would like to implement it as soon as possible.
From: Agent Probie
To: Mr. Whiskers at HQ
Date: August 5, 2018
Subject:
Mission Report
I have received your directive to stop interfering with Agent Melody. I wasn’t interfering with her. I would like to know who told you that I was doing that. Was it Agent Skittlebutt? He seems to have turned against me. It is unfair to threaten me with discipline when I was just trying to do my own work. If anything, she is interfering with me. Have you told her to stop doing that? I would appreciate it if you could do that. I would like to go on record as believing that she is not required in this location.
Agent Melody is not doing her work properly. It all has to be redone. I just do the things that I have been doing that she has usurped. I don’t think she is going to work out as an agent. Perhaps she should be sent back to the academy for further training. I think that she would benefit from further training at the academy. Could she be reassigned to the academy.
I find it odd that such a raw agent is assigned to a working team. We actually don’t need another cat in this location. Agent Molly seems to be alone. Why wasn’t she assigned there? If the aim was to give her a taste of life in the field, Agent Molly’s location would be a better place. Agent Molly needs the help and could give Agent Melody a better taste of agent life. If she can’t go back to the academy, could she be sent to Agent Molly?
They have added a huge canine to this location. I’m not sure why. I didn’t think canines came that big. The three already here are pretty much useless for anything. They don’t seem to be observing the humans. They don’t appear to be making reports to their superiors. I think they are here for something we don’t know about and I will do my best to determine why the canines are here and why this new one has arrived. I will make a report on my findings next quarter. I think they may be here to spy on us. I have ingratiated myself with them so that I can find out what they are up to. This is in addition to the project that Agent Skittlebutt and I initiated into the behavior of the humans in this place. I will endeavor to do this without Agent Skittlebutt, because he is spending more time with Agent Melody than he does working on the human behavior project.
So far on that project, the humans don’t seem to have done much against us. I’m still trying to figure out where the younger female went when she returned with Agent Melody. Agent Melody can’t seem to tell us where they brought her from. I think she should have made notes, but she is not completely trained. I think all agents should be taught to make such notes while they are still at the academy. I will make a further report on the Human Project and on the Canine Project in my next report.
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