From: | Agent Smudge | To: | Mr. Whiskers | Date: | 4 September 2016 |
Subject: | Mission Report |
I miss Agent Luna. I still wait for her to decide that I haven’t bathed quite properly and bathe me. It’s like I lost my mother all over again. It has just occurred to me that I had actually lost my mother. I have no idea where she went. One day she was there and I felt safe and loved and the next she was gone and I was on my own. Is that weaning? I think it must be. In any case, I didn’t like it much. I was weaned from Agent Luna and I didn’t like that either.
Things have been quiet around here, except for those odd creatures that keep invading. Agent Probie keeps trying to interrogate them, but he never learns anything useful. Other than that, nothing much is happening here. I don’t think anyone wants to take over Agent Luna’s duties, although we are taking turns at doing them in addition to our own. I think we should just divide them up amongst ourselves, as we did when Agent Snickers passed over the Bridge. No one else seems to think that is fair. Please advise.
From: | Agent Storm | To: | Mr. Whiskers | Date: | 4 September 2016 |
Subject: | Mission Report |
Agent Probie is still trying to interrogate those creatures. I don’t think we should bother. I doubt that they have any information that we could use. It is my recommendation that we should just ignore the creatures. They aren’t even good eating.
Is there any particular need to take over Agent Luna’s duties? It seems to me that her duties overlapped mine and the other’s duties to the extent that we don’t need to take on any extra duties ourselves to cover Agent Luna’s. I know that I sound lazy here, I am not lazy. I want to make that clear. If Headquarters says to add some of Agent Luna’s duties to my own, I will do so. I just don’t see the need. If I am incorrect, please let me know and I will do what I can to correct the situation.
I don’t have much to report as nothing much has been happening, other than Agent Probie’s failing attempts to interrogate the invaders. I’m honestly not sure that they should be considered invaders, as they seem to be merely pests. If Headquarters thinks that we can glean anything useful from those weird creatures, I will happily assist Agent Probie to capture and interrogate as many as possible. Please advise as to what Headquarters needs with regard to those creatures.
Michigan Humane Society: Somebody here needs you.
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