|From:||Agent Cuddlebug||To:||Mr. Whiskers||Date:||3 January 2014|
They have brought in a rat. They claim that it is a canine, but it is the right size for a rat, if a little light in color. The ears are not right either. It makes noises like a canine. Perhaps they are right and it is a canine. I’m not sure what it is. I just want it gone. This is so unfair. We have two of those already. They could have brought in a civilian cat, but no, they bring in that whatever that is. They call it a Chihuahua. What is that? Perhaps that is its name but they do keep making noises about naming it. They make a disgusting fuss over it. How can we do a decent job of anything with three canines in our place? The first one was bad enough, and then they brought in another one? What is even more disgraceful is that Agent Probie is nearly collaborating with the canines. He should be disciplined severely.
While I understand that he is young and exuberant, which goes well with dogs, but he needs to learn that they are not our friends. He needs to understand that he and they are not the same animals. Therefore, I request that he be officially warned that his friendship with these canines borders on collaboration. Please send him the standard form letter about the dangers of collaborative behavior as he will not listen to me. Youth can be so impetuous.
Additional note: Agent Luna was taken for interrogation and has not returned. We fear the worst and she is gone. The humans seemed upset.
|From:||Agent Probie||To:||Mr. Whiskers||Date:||3 January 2014|
It is not a rat. It doesn’t even look like a rat. It looks young, but that’s what humans find appealing about it. I think it is a canine spy sent to watch us. It look far too innocent to be anything but devious. I am not collaborating with the canines, I am only trying to gather information. That’s what we are here for, isn’t it?
I think my activities with the canines is as an excellent tactic to obtain information from the canines. I doubt he is in collaboration with them. I believe I am simply doing an excellent job of ingratiating myself with them much as Agent Luna did with the humans. I shouldn’t be disciplined or even warned. I will, however, heed the warning about about overdoing it. I suppose Agent Cuddlebug is correct, and it does not look good.
I want to add that I will miss Agent Luna. She was a fine agent and a good friend.