|From:||Agent Probie||To:||Mr. Whiskers||Date:||5 July 2015|
|Subject:||July 2015 Report|
We have been suffering incursions. These are not mice. I am not sure what they are, They do not have fur and they are not Warm. Oddly, when I bite their tails off, the tails still move. how I don’t mean to bite off their tails, it’s just that the tails come off so easily. It’s an interest trick. I’m not sure how they do it. I’m not even sure how the tails keep moving after I bite them off, The younger female did not seem pleased to find the tail, I guess she likes the intruders, they do not hold up to interrogation well. However, they die rather well.
I am doing my best to find out who they are, what they are, and what they want. They Keep Coming in despite the fact that few of them ever go back. I can only conclude that it is really bad out there. Either that, or they are determined to find and retrieve their missing ones.
As I said, they don’t handle interrogation well. They do not appear to be very robust. This is the main reason I have killed so many of them. Most of them die during apprehension. I try to catch them as gently as possible. It’s just impossible. They are just to fragile to interrogate and learn things from.I will continue to try to take one alive, but I do not expect much success with that.
I will say that the humans don’t like finding their bodies any better than finding the bodies of mice. Perhaps the humans are in alliance with these strange creatures in addition to being allied with mice. This alliance is something We need to investigate. We should determine just where the humans’ sympathies lie. Please send instructions as to how we should proceed.
|From:||Agent Smudge||To:||Mr. Whiskers||Date:||5 July 2015|
|Subject:||July 2015 Report|
I am not certain that Agent Probie is correct in his assessment. I don’t believe the humans are in league with the mice and these strange creatures that are attempting to invade our space. I think the humans are only squeamish about corpses. I have noticed that the food they eat in no way resembles the original animal. They do their best to obliterate all signs that their food was once alive. This includes burning it in a chamber that makes the food hot and crispy.
I think we should look into the human mind. This will likely take specialists and I acknowledge that the budget may not allow for this type of analysis. However, I think it may help us in the long term if we tried to understand why humans do what they do. I further agree that I am not the cat to make this decision but I do believe that this would allow us to better counteract the human activity that affects felinekind. Please provide processes and procedures so that we may add data to the Human Mind Assessment database. I think we field agents may have the ability to provide valuable data to that project if we only knew what to look for.
Michigan Humane Society: Somebody here needs you.
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