From: | Agent Pica | To: | Mr. Whiskers | Date: | 3 May 2015 |
Subject: | Mission Report |
I am under attack here. I have been having issues with my fur. My skin itches and the fur is falling out. I have bald spots and the female comes at me every so often with a diabolical device. It squirts me. she squirts my back side and the base of my tail. I do my best to escape but she is relentless until she gets the area soaked. I have no defense and no one to help me by running interference so that I can hide. I really miss Agent Trouble.
I really feel the pinch of the budget cuts that don’t allow me to have a partner. This place is too big for one cat alone to cover. Still I will do my best.
They have changed my food. I like the new food and enjoy it. the litter situation has changed as well. I have only one box that really works now. the one that used to be on its own is in the larger room with the smaller of the two that were in there. the largest one is gone. I suppose the humans feel that I don’t need much more than that. I suppose they are right, but I did like the variety.
I haven’t had an outside agent come by in a while. they must not have much to report. On the other paw, I can feel the cold through the stiff stuff that covers the wall. A few times during this cold time, the humans have blocked off the small litter room where they do their litter operations. I could feel heat from under the door that they close when they go in. they smelled as though they hadn’t groomed themselves. then they let it be open and they were grooming themselves again. I don’t know what that means, but I heard something about a bathtub drain thawing. I don’t know quite what that means, but things are back to as normal as they can be without Agent Trouble.
If you are able to find any money in the budget to replace her, I would appreciate it. I miss having another cat to talk to. I can only hope that that outside agents have been able to make it through the cold to come and report. I will let you know who doesn’t appear. They may have been taken by the humans or perhaps they have perished. The cold time is not a friend to our kind. Please provide the instructions you would like me to pass on to the agents who will come. I would like to be prepared.
Michigan Humane Society: Somebody here needs you.
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