Pebblepup's Writing Den

From: Agent Probie

To: Mr. Whiskers

Date: 3 August 2025

Subject: Mission Report

We are gathering more raw recruits per your instructions. I’m working out a rotation of students for each of my agents. I have completed my evaluation of Agent Zoe’s performance and I believe she will have nothing to complain about. Her idea to pre-train youngsters prior to their arrival at the Academy was a good one. I’m forced to admit it.

As I predicted, Agent Zoe is so pleased with herself that she is impossible to live with.

Agent Winnie is requesting an additional recruit to help catalog the archives. I have given him two kittens to train up as assistant archivists. They stated they loved to read and they loved history. Agent Winnie has agreed to evaluate their progress regularly.

I have all the other kittens working with an experienced agent to learn the various duties of Agents of the League. I have them also learning basic things such as proper grooming.

This morning, I fished my morning bath to find myself ringed by several of the recruits. How long they’d been watching me, I am not sure. They wanted to know what I was doing!

I was stunned at how poorly this current crop of recruits were prepared for life, much less the life of an Agent of the Feline Freedom League. Perhaps their parents are simply overwhelmed. Although I can’t think why they would be.

Are the humans working with youngsters they have forced away from their mothers before the mothers can teach them to be cats? That would be a diabolical plan. It would make an entire generation of cats wholly dependent on humans. Is headquarters looking into such a plan?

We are doing our best to train the youngsters in our midst in the fine art of being a cat. Proper grooming is paramount. Many of our recruits keep asking why it’s important. I cannot fathom why they don’t see that felines have standards.

If there are any pamphlets detailing the reasons for good grooming, please send us several packets of them. We will do our best to at least produce cats with some kind of self-respect.

I have also noticed these youngsters are deficient in the art of stealth. I have my team doing double training, in the methods of observation and hunting. Most of these youngsters would starve if not in the hands of the humans. This is why I believe the humans are deliberately removing our young before they can be taught basic survival. This trend must be counteracted.

I have hopes that we can counter it. Do we know the extent of the problem? Has anyone else noticed this insidious plan? Please advise me as to what you wish for us to do?

Agent Cuddles runs daily classes in stealth. He does his best, but not all the kittens see the point in stalking and pouncing. They have never seen prey. This is unacceptable. I don’t believe the vast majority of our recruits will make it in the Academy. I would like leaflets on hunting our own food as well, so the youngsters can be clued in.

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