From: Agent Cuddles
To: Mr. Whiskers
Date: 4 May 2025
Subject: Mission Report
I have two kittens to train in the fine art of pouncing. I feel inadequate. This is sad. Were they taken from their mothers before the females could properly train them? I can only wonder. Neither mentioned their mothers. I suspect they don’t remember her. This is not good. I will do my best to train them in that skill. Agents may need it. I’m fully aware.
I do not believe Agent Zoe realized the scope of the task she undertook. I can remember the first group, who were, at least, better prepared for the lessons she envisioned. This group is not. We must start from the beginning. I’m thankful I wasn’t assigned to teaching them stealth. That dubious honor belongs to Agent Zoe. She brought this on herself.
Still, I feel obligated to train these youngsters in the physical arts of feline life. To that end, I have set up time for them to play fight. This is a skill that will eventually lead to the perfect pounce. Play fighting will lead to play hunting. I think they will do well, I hope that this will help them in future. Especially, if they should apply for an outside post. I am perfectly willing to teach them how to hunt and fight. Both are skills these youngsters may well need for their very survival.
I think this group may take a little longer before they are ready for the Academy and then assignment. They are not stupid; please don’t think I believe that. They are intelligent and eager to learn. Sadly, I must curb that eagerness for it is getting in their way. An eager cat is not capable of being stealthy.
I’ve set them to work on their hunting and fighting skills by wrestling with both so I can find their weaknesses. Once I’ve done that, I will help them to strengthen where they need to. Neither is proficient in pouncing. I’ll fix that issue with them as well. I have been demonstrating by pouncing on both of them.
I can’t believe how shocked they both were when I did that. They ran to Agent Zoe to complain I was mistreating them. She came to me and told me she understood what I was trying to do but that I had failed the demonstration. We talked, not argued, I could see that I hadn’t done the demonstrations well. So, we worked together to show pouncing techniques by pouncing on each other.
It was to no avail. They don’t seem to understand it. So, I asked Agent Zoe if we could combine our lessons and teach them together. I am pleased to say she has agreed. So, we are bringing her group and mine together to lessons in fighting.
We will get them play fighting and allow them to work out the best way to win the play fight. That’s the best way to teach them fighting techniques. Agent Zoe and I play fight with each other as our students watch. We hoped to show them some techniques they may find useful. They may use them in future. They may not. I am hopeful that we can, at least, make them responsible felines.
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