Pebblepup's Writing Den

From: Agent Zoe
To: Mr. Whiskers
Date: 6 August 2023
Subject: Mission Report

I must admit that I feel much better now that I’ve talked to a therapist. I agreed with her that I needed more than one session. I’ve had three so far and they have helped me a lot. I’m still angry with him for leaving, but I am learning to deal with the anger. I will be fine. In our last clowder meeting, I suggested the others should talk with a therapist. They didn’t seem ready to take that step. That’s fine. I’m used to them not listening to me. It’s a personal decision that a cat can only make for itself. I’m ok with that. See how well my therapist has done for me? I’m happy to say I can almost forgive him for abandoning us.
Sometimes, the way Agent Probie acts makes me think I should take over as leader of this mission. I mentioned it to Agent Winnie once and he told me to butt. I was only trying to help. Agent Probie is cracking under the pressures of leadership. They keep arguing and I am caught in the middle. I find myself trying to cover all the shifts myself. If Agent Probie would complete a schedule of any kind, we could move forward. He’s not doing well. He took the betrayal as a betrayal of his friendship.
I did as well, but I’ve since realized, with the help of my therapist, that he had to make the best decision for himself. He wanted the looser life of an external agent. Nothing I, or anyone else, could say would have changed his mind. I’ve learned to accept it. He didn’t intend to make me feel abandoned. He did what was best for him. He was the best one, the only one, to determine what that best was. I still worry about him though. I hope he’s ok.
As for the situation here, I have a few suggestions. I am going to propose them to Agent Probie at our next shouting session, um, meeting. It’s the best I can do. Agent Probie will either accept my suggestion or he won’t. It won’t be a personal thing. He may well feel overwhelmed. I know I do and I’m not in charge. A schedule would help. He needs to learn to delegate. I’ll suggest that as well. Life won’t get back to anything resembling normal until we each have established a routine. Routines are good. We need to reach an agreement on territories. If we can do that, I know we will be fine.
I never realized how much of my life routine dictated. I used to think routines were boring. Now I see them as a life line. I can only hope I establish one soon. I’ll demand the territory I’ve set up and not give an inch. Then I will start my own routine. If I can make them cede my territory to me, it will make it easier for them to cede territory to each other. Once we have that down, things will get better. I hope so anyway.

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