To: Mr. Whiskers
Date: Sunday, 5 January, 2020
Subject: Mission Report
My humans have been talking. I am not sure, but I think they are planning to move dens. They talk about space and money. I don’t know what these things are, but I feel I must prepare. I am certain I will lose my most excellent territory and I am not happy about that. I did what I should to learn what I need to do to preserve my position.
To that end, I have spent a great deal of time ‘sleeping’ in the vicinity of the humans while they watch the magic box. They talk during that time and I am sure to hear more of their plans. I will do my best to learn what they are planning.
That must go on hold for a time as I am preparing to leave for the conference. This year will not be as traumatic as last year’s trip was. I know what to expect and I will be in a better position to discuss the issues with my fellow agents. I promise to be less stand-offish. I do request that Agent Probie refrain from eating my food this year. I get little as it is. I’m sure he will understand my concerns.
My human female says I’m overweight and must lose some. I resent the implication that I am a glutton, but I cannot gain access to more food. She does allow me treats but I must work for them. I think she may be planning to leave me behind when they move dens. I must find a way to hoard food so that I will not starve before I escape from this place. That may not happen until after they abandon me.
I believe I could provide for myself should they abandon me. I am aware that I’m speculating about abandonment but that has happened in the past. I have few illusions about humans.
So I will continue to make and adjust my plans as I learn more about the humans’ plans. Mine will be dependent on theirs. This will be my focus until I learn exactly what they plan to do, or until they do what they plan to do.
My main problem right now is getting food to hoard. There are no rodents in this place and I fear there will be none once the humans leave. If they do not take me with them, I will be in dire straits. I will try to suck up to them so that they will take me with them when they move dens. I will also strive to save some of the food, as meager as it is, so that I have something to eat. Should they move dens and leave me behind in this place, I will try to escape.
I should also attempt to find a way to escape this place so I can fend for myself when the time comes. I can only hope I will successful. I will report more as I learn more.
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