From: Agent Skittlebutt
To: Mr. Whiskers
Date: 5 July 2020
Subject: Mission Report July 2020
I appreciate the exercise regimen headquarters sent to me. I have been adhering to it daily. I devote a whole hour every day to my exercise routine as a result. I believe my health to be improving. I believe this because I feel energetic and good. I will continue to exercise and I will encourage Agent Probie to follow my example. But, per your instructions, I will not badger him. I will keep to my own regimen and not become obnoxious. My health is important to me. Perhaps Agent Probie will come to realize how important his health is to him, but I will not press him. I hope he never has an illness such as I did. I do not think he would enjoy it. I also do not think he will value his health unless he has a scare such as I had.
As for the humans, they do not seem to exercise much. They do get in the pond and move. Perhaps that is their exercise. I cannot tell. I will keep observing them. I cannot think that they live a healthy lifestyle. I can only be happy that they provide us with proper nutrition. They would do well to apply proper nutrition to themselves. I do believe they are attempting to live a healthier life, but they need to move more. Exercise is the key to good health. I have learned that.
My plan is to maintain my good health by exercise and getting as much good food as I can. I will hunt lizards if I must to get that good food. The food the humans provide tastes good, but I am not quite sure that it is as nutritious as it could be. It isn’t natural. I am aware that natural food is the best, but sometimes we don’t have access to it. So I make do with the food the humans provide.
I agree with Agent Probie who says the food is not bad. I feel it could be better, but the humans don’t seem to eat it themselves, so perhaps they are unaware of how bland it is. Then again, they may wish to keep us from getting too soft. Humans are not known for their kindness, but I believe Agent Probie and myself to have been lucky in the humans who live with us.
I will continue with my workouts and do what I can to improve my health. It would be nice if I could improve my health to the point where I feel like a kitten again, but I am aware that I am not a kitten. The humans seem pleased with my health improvement. I do not think they have malignant intent towards felines. I just wish they would cut back on the canines in this place. Perhaps I should work to cause them to rethink their association with the canines. I think I could ensure that they do not add any more of the creatures to this location.