FFL – Living with Humans

From: Agent Pica     To: Mr. Whiskers at HQ

Date: 5 June 2011

Subject: Living with Humans

The female does some odd things when she gets up from her sleeping place. She puts out our food rations and then removes waste from our litter boxes. She puts it in a container and sends it out regularly with the container of smells. I think it is all part of some strange ritual. After she does that, she moves into the front area. She gets a hard white object and stands on it. The talking picture thing talks to her and orders her to do stylized movements. I tried to distract her by batting at her hands, but she just laughed and kept moving. She stops after a bit, shuts off the moving picture box. Then she goes and gets wet in the watering place. She puts on things to cover her bareness and retreats to the information box. It is all very strange.
When she speaks of it at all, she calls it a workout.

Sometimes she produces a stinky, salty fluid when she does it. When that happens, the box repeatedly counts until four. One two three four, over and over. While it does that, she steps up onto the white thing and steps back off. She does that over and over, while the box tells her that she is working hard. She stays in the unnatural waterfall for longer than the other days.

From: Agent Trouble     To: Mr. Whiskers at HQ

Date: 5 June 2011

Subject: Living with Humans

Living with these humans is difficult. The female is around all day. She spends a lot of time sitting in the front observation room and doesn’t seem to want anyone to sit on her. Well, most days in any case. So of course, we take turns doing just that.

Pica’s report above tells of her morning routine. She gets up when it is still dark out, and retreats to the watering room. When she comes out, she is wearing different covering. Having no hair must be very uncomfortable. She then dishes out the daily ration of kibble to Pica and me. Pica gobbles hers; I nibble a bit throughout the day. Then she turns on the picture box and drags out a white thing that she lays flat on the floor. Pica has described that. I wish to point out that she doesn’t do the same things every morning. Some days, she lays a mat on the floor and chases us off it after she has been doing the strange rituals that she does. Those rituals are different every day, but not completely. She does one set where she only steps on and off the white thing, which she calls a wee balance board. She refers to this as aerobics. I used the information box to find out what that is. It is a form of something called exercise that burns fat. I never smell anything burning when she does this, so I am confused. Perhaps someone else can clarify this. She does this routine every other day. Other days, she stretches and turns and the third routine in her rotation has her on the floor quite a bit. She calls the other routines, yoga and strength training. I have not been able to comprehend what yoga is, but I suspect she is trying to become more catlike and this yoga is supposed to accomplish that for her. She’s not very good.


I am not one who is comfortable talking about myself but here goes. I enjoy writing, family history, and reading. I decided to do this blog because I wanted to try something new. I decided to make it a weekly blog because I wasn't sure that I could keep up with a daily one, and monthly seemed like I was writing a magazine. I think I did ok with my choices. You'll notice that there are not a lot of graphics on my site. That's because there are graphics plastered everywhere on the Internet and those sites sometimes take forever to load. This blog is a place where you can kick back, relax and be ready to be amused. At least I hope I willbamuse you. This blog is on a variety of subjects from my ficitional cat agency, the FFL, which is monthly, to instructional blogs to editorials, which are my opinions only. I admit that I don't know everything and could be wrong -- I frequently am. Now, stop reading about me and read what I have to say!

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Posted in Feline Freedom League Report
One comment on “FFL – Living with Humans
  1. Laurel says:

    These felines r very observant! Keep them coming!!

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