Feline Freedom League Monthly Report – June 2010

Report Date: 14 June 2010                    Agent: Pica

Yesterday, I sat at the large window by the outdoor floor and monitored the female jailor as she worked to remove all the cover from along the wall outside. I must admit that this wall confuses me. It stretches for about a hundred feet but doesn’t appear to be part of a building such as our prison. It encloses nothing, and overgrown with greenery serves to provide cover for our agents at large. I believe that to be the reason that the jailors are removing it. I recommend that headquarters issue a warning to the free roaming agents telling them that the jailors may be planning to capture and imprison them as well. The female jailor only works for a short time each day, but the cover she removes is vital for our agents to navigate the area around the prison safely. She has already shortened the grass to the point where even a kitten couldn’t use it for cover. The female jailor walks over the ground pushing a noisy machine around, which cuts the grass very short. I do not believe a mouse could safely navigate the expanse of grass without anyone seeing it. We may soon find it hard to leave messages and will have to rely on this, more dangerous, form of communication. Please advise us on how we should counter this removal of all cover around our prison. It will not be long before the cover loss completely cuts us off from physical contact with our colleagues outside the prison.

Report Date: 14 June 2010                    Agent: Trouble

The female jailer was doing something outside the prison. I know Agent Pica believes that she is attempting to cut off our contact with the outside world, but this contraption works well enough for me. Agent Pica doesn’t trust it, but I do. I haven’t heard Agents Storm and Luna complain about it either. I think it works better than yelling through the window. Anyway, the female jailer passed my vantage point at about eleven in the morning. It was beginning to get hot and any sensible cat would be dozing. I was unable to do that, as I had to monitor the female’s activity outside, what I could see of it anyway. She carried some tools to the north side of the prison, just outside where she sleeps. A while later, she carried a sack of what looked like sticks, past my vantage point and went around the south side of the prison. The entire southernmost room is off limits to us and I have never entered it. I do not know for certain what is out there, but I sometimes hear mice in there. She returned to her tasks out there and soon carried another bag past my vantage point in the window. She went back to her work location and returned with long snips, a tripod thing, and the small snips and the paper bags she’d carried over there earlier. She entered the room where I watched her put the bags on my bunk; she leaned the tripod in a corner and put the long and short snips into a two-foot tall thing with two baskets; the small snips in the top and the longer snips in the bottom basket. Whatever she was doing out there, it involved cutting things with the snips. I have yet to determine what the tripod thing was for.

Report Date: 14 June 2010                    Agent: Storm

There was a loud sound that reminded me that I needed to do my rounds at the back of the prison. I call them my rounds, but really, I am checking to see that Agents Pica and Trouble are well. I must admit that the sound that recalled me to my duties went on for quite a while and increased in volume. The female jailor brought Agent Luna to the back of the prison where the single litter box room is. I could not avail myself of the facilities there, as both Agent Pica and Luna were present in addition to the female jailor. The jailor left Agent L there and returned to the front of the prison. I am not certain what she did to Agent L but she was terribly frightened and upset. I’m sure that some sort of torture was applied although such has never occurred before in this prison. We must continue to be vigilant as this could be a dark turn in our incarceration here.

I have, on occasion, positioned myself on the middle platform of the observation tower, which affords me a different view of the same area of the prison grounds as the shorter observation platform near this machine. I would go higher, but I do have an issue with heights. The difference in view is negligible for the most part but there is enough to allow me to see the devastation from the monster that ate the trees. The ground below the window is brown and now has some tree scraps scattered over it.

Report Date: 14 June 2010                    Agent: Luna

Yesterday started out to be a quiet day. I was pretending to doze, which is how I gather my best intelligence and was lulled into a false sense of well being. Then a monster came. Its roar shook the prison floor and walls. Agent Storm abandoned me. I had no idea what was going on. I ran to the back of the female jailer’s chair and considered hiding behind it. The female was at the observation station with the tallest observation platform. I must have made some sort of sound because she turned to look at me. She smiled, as they sometimes do, but I knew that for the ruse that it was. She told me that it was all right, but I was not convinced. She then stroked my fur, which failed to soothe me. That always soothes me. Then she picked me up and cuddled me close. She took me from the front room where the monster’s roar was not so loud. She put me down beside the coward Storm. Agent Pica was there as well. I have no idea where Agent Trouble was at the time.

Not one of them came to assist me in my time of need. Therefore, I would like to make this my formal request to have them all placed on report for such a dereliction of duty. I also request that this report serve as my official Notice of Complaint against them for not coming to my aid when I called to them. I wish to formally accuse Agents Storm, Pica, and Trouble of cowardice and request that a Board of Inquiry convened as soon as possible to look into this matter.